Posted by: rachelanne229 | January 12, 2010

breaking rank, breaking even

“breaking up is haaarrrd to do”  -neil sedaka understood how it is!

but the thing is, there was no heartbreak involved in this one.  let’s face it– breaking up makes everyone feel inadequate, lethargic, lonely, and drops you down into a certain level of depression for awhile.  as you get older, as you get a few more break-ups under your belt, you get better at it.  it’s like playing an instrument, the more you do it, the easier it gets, in that you learn how to act with dignity and grace.  at least, you should.  but i guess it gets harder in some ways.  you start to doubt your personality, your self-esteem may plummet, you feel a pervasive sense of isolation.

your feelings after a break-up boil down to your feelings about your ex.  this time, it just makes sense to break up.  there were fun times, there was chemistry, memories that i’ll cherish for quite some time.  but not love!  so what’s the point, right?  the change in routine and the loss of companionship and a person you felt close to is always tragic, but human beings are great at adapting to these changes.  people are resilient and we bounce back.

and although the benefits are often overlooked, there are indeeds benefits to break-ups!  at least this one.  for some reason i feel empowered, i feel free, i feel confident that i’m handling this the right way and have great things in front of me.  i’m not going crazy about the whole single lady being able to go out and get laaaid whenever i want now.  i just feel free, like this relationship wasn’t meant for me, and now i’m allowed to continue to be myself and be someone who actually knows me and can make me feel special.

the most important thing i have learned is that you can never change for anyone.  of course, you are easily able to change annoying habits and unhealthy traits, but you can’t change your deepest personality traits to appease your partner, the things that make you who you are.  it’s not healthy.  you may be with a sweet person who treats you exactly the way you want to be treated, but at the end of the day, he doesn’t get why you do 25 pushups before bed or understand the basis for your most personal beliefs.  you have got to find the person who knows you, the person who makes you feel one of a kind, the person who will cherish you, not for a few months, but who is excited to have you as a part of his life.

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